Twas the Legal Night Before Christmas

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter, the "House" a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, to wit, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., et al., had been temporarily affixed by and around the chimney in said House, with appropriate care, in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter, "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in or around their individual sleeping locations, or beds, and were nestled and engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein visions of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums (without and not meeting FDA labeling requirements) did dance, cavort and or otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part, (sometimes hereinafter referred to as I ("I")), being the joint owner or tenant-in-common in fee simple absolute of the House, with the party of the second part, (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep (at such time, the parties of both parts were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap) for a long, seasonal ("winter") nap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance ("clatter"). The party of the first part ("I") did immediately arise and rush to a fenestration ("window") in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. In the process, the party of the first part ("I") mistakenly tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The party of the first part noticed the moon, in full phase, on the topmost part of the new-fallen snow. The party of the first part was informed and believed, and based upon such information and belief, alleged that said moon gave the lustre of mid-day, otherwise known as noon, to objects below. At that time, the party of the first part ("I") did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the top of the porches, walls and/or roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit with white fur, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe, and blowing circles that resembled wreaths in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

The party of the first part observed that Claus's eyes would not have passed a field sobriety test in that they twinkled. Moreover, Claus's facial expressions (i.e. "dimples") appeared overly joyful. As further evidence of his state of being, Claus's cheeks were very red, almost like roses, his nose was likewise red like a cherry. Claus's mouth could have been said to look like a bow, and the extended hair growth under his chin could likewise be said to be as white as the snow.

Although Claus did not speak, he did laugh, which caused his rotund stomach area to move about in a manner similar to, but not quite like, a bowl full of jelly. Claus thereafter immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Or words to that effect.

Finally Done

Ranking my exams in order of difficulty, hardest to easiest

1.) Criminal Law- Dear Lord in heaven. If I next time I tell by reading a statute whether it's MPC or commonlaw, it'll be the first time. I did not consent to the sexual contact that test made with me. There's a legitimate chance this test could cost me my spot in law school.

2.) Civil Procedure- This one wasn't a huge surprise. Civil Procedure is so rule based that there's a chance you'll get hit with one you weren't too sure on. Well, That definitely happened to me.

3.) Torts- Duty. Breach. Causation. Damages. Next Issue. Duty. Breach. Causation. Damages. Next Issue. Duty. Breach. Causation. Damages. Next Issue. Duty. Breach. Causation. Damages. Next Issue......

4.) Contracts- easily the easiest of the finals. I just went line by line through my outline to make sure I covered all the major topics for each question. Probably the easiest to analyze, even if Contracts isn't excessively intuitive.

Hopefully, I did well enough to qualify for another semester.

Shawshank Redemption

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,317100,00.html

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Sorry for disappearing. Some personal things came up and then when I got back to school other things (video games, books, movies) took precedence over the blog.

Anyway, since I've exhausted all the other forms of studying, and because I received an e-mail from TJ's Doubleplay asking why I died, I figured I could post a couple of thoughts about exams.

First, for whomever chose 8:30 am for 1L's exams, I realize that we're the bitches of the law school, but seriously, push this back to 9 or 10. 8:30 is way too damn early for most of us.

Second, how the hell do some of my co-students write so much? I'm coming in around 10 pages on my exams and I hear people talking about writing 15 or 20 pages. That last number has to be a lie because I"m pretty certain that you'd have to be a trained typist to come close to 20 pages in a three hour period, especially if you read the question. I realize I may be shorting my self on these answers, but seriously people, what the hell are you writing?

Third, I recognize that teachers should challenge us. However, the practice exams should not completely mislead us, like some of the practice exams my teachers handed out have. We had multiple exams that all asked very similar questions for practice. Then, when it came time for exams, the questions were COMPLETELY different. What was the point of the practice exams? It wasn't like we had answers to check ourselves against so we couldn't even find out if we were answering the practice questions correctly.

Fourth, STOP JACK HAMMERING IN THE LIBRARY DURING EXAM WEEK!

Holy Crap

I would like to thank TJ's Doubleplay for linking me because that one link doubled the number of visitors to my blog, not for the day, not for the week, but doubled the total number of people that had ever visited it. And, it was for one of my sloppiest entries ever.

So, I'm a little torn. On one hand, it's cool that people actually came to read what I had to say (probably got angry since I ripped on the most popular way to save your seat in the library). However, it was such a bad example of writing that they probably think I'm a dumbass (justifiable).

Anyway, there would normally be a spike in entries to try to encourage all of the new readers to return, but I have a personal matter that came up. So, all of this new traffic is wasted forever. Which makes me sad. I'd like to have a commentator community on my blog.

UPDATE: The reason that Google Analytics rules is because I can see how people got to the site. TJ's Doubleplay is responsible for 76% of all referrals that have come to my site. God, my blog is insignificant compared to his (hers?).

To People Who Leave Their Laptops Unattended In Order To Save Their Seat In the Library

Greetings! As you obviously are aware, we have an honor code here at UVA that leads to you getting expelled after one incident. One of these violations is stealing. There is very little crime at UVA, which is attributed (by silly people) to this Honor Code. In actuality, the laptops are probably not stolen at any higher or lesser rate than any other item left in a public place used by the same number of people as our law library. I mean, taking things in public places is hard to do if most people in that place are sedentary. YOu run the risk of someone knowing that isn't your computer, bag, etc. that you're running off with.

Anyway, I wish this wasn't the case, because when you walk into the library on certain days, there are like 30 laptops unattended, just sitting on tables. These laptops will remain unattended for upwards of three hours because their owners are off doing other things and can't be bothered to carry a five pound laptop with them wherever they went (or just dump them off in a locker). Instead, they make sure no one can sit in that specific seat in the library, so that they can have it when they get back. Why should they be inconvenienced when they can just inconvenience other people.

These are the people you hear about that keep on losing secure data. They leave their laptop places where it doesn't belong because they can't be bothered to take care of it. So thousands of people have their personal information in the hands of criminals. Sometimes, it'd just be better if someone walked off with their laptops now so that they'd learn their lesson instead of waiting until my SSN disappears.

Midterms

Here at UVA, we have graded midterms that don't count for anything. It's actually a really good system because it lets us take our first law school test without all the stress of our entire grade riding on it.

This is nice because law school tests are different from every other test I've ever taken. Math tests have one right answer. Science tests too. History tests require facts and English tests require bs. A law test is probably closest to being a combination of a History and English test.

You need facts (cases, restatements, etc.) and you also need to bs on a lot of stuff when you're not really sure what's going on. Now, that's also a pretty good way to look at litigation. You have to read the cases, get facts, and then bs them to help your case as best they can.

The one thing I wasn't really expecting was the necessity to talk about what the answer is not. Looking at the practice test my teacher put up online for us, I went through and was able to basically say what each answer was in a sentence. I knew I had to be missing something since people hyperventilate at the thought of law school so I decided to go examine the answers to see what the problem was.

Well, the problem is that you have to explain what each problem is not. Why does this rule not apply? What makes it different from this case? What things would need to be different to have that rule apply? It really was eye-opening.

I haven't seen what I got on my midterm yet, but I felt fairly confident i did Ok.

Comments

Comments are now unmoderated. So I no longer have to approve them so you can now see your writings on teh screen as soon as you write them.

Softball

Some of you may be aware that UVA has a major obsession with softball. I mean, this is hardcore activity at this school. People often claim to care more about softball than about law school. We like to call these people "winners" because I know that I also came to law school just to play softball.

I fail to really understand this obsession with softball. Look, I love playing sports (pickup basketball is my game of choice, but still). Here are reasons that I don't like softball.

1.) The arc required in slow pitch. I understand that some people have a hard time hitting a slow moving object in three dimensional space with a rounded stick. However, those people are usually eight. Normal twenty-somethings can have some sense of depth perception. And, pitching at such an arc actually makes it harder to hit the ball. Sure, the ball is moving slower, but it's dropping severely as it come towards the plate. If you're not good at hitting, you swing at the wrong spot. It's much harder to hit the correct spot than it is to correct the timing on your swing. So the actual result of the rule is contradictory to its intent.

2.) The arbitrary rules for the benefit of girls. I think I'm biased on this because in my neighborhood growing up, the girls all played sports with the guys. And the age relative kids were about equal, regardless of gender. My neighbor (girl) and I were the two oldest kids in the group and we were the best two at the sports and we were about even. When puberty hit, the only sport that I gaiend a real advantage in was basketball, mainly because I was stronger than she was so she couldn't stop me from getting to the basket. In baseball, I could throw a little harder and hit a little farther, but considering our competition and the yard in which we were playing, the difference was minimal.

That's why I think the rules that give benefit to girls are kinda sexist. I mean, if there's a guy who really sucks at softball, we can basically play 10 man infield. However, if it's a girl, the outfield has to be behind this arbitrary line in the outfield that most guys can't even hit the ball past. Also, the girls get more more allowed foul balls and a much larger outfield. If we're granting this much advantage to girls, isn't this just institutional bias indicating that we don't consider girls equal to males?

My neighbor is still better at baseball than some of the guys that play. She's actually probably better than I am at this point. She would shred these rules. Why should we treat her differently just because she doubled up her X chromosomes and is less likely to be colorblind? It's a minor thing, but I think that there's something wrong with it.

3.) Softball captains. Listen, our section voted you to be in charge of setting up games. Just because we have you do that, does not mean you understand the fundamentals of softball better than we do. Some of us may have played baseball, but, surprisingly, the way you field and catch is really quite similar. And no, I will not use both hands to catch a fly ball. This isnt' the last out in the world series. This is a random out in a softball game that means nothing. Whoop de doo. Get over it. Stop yelling at me about it.

4.) The fact that EVERYONE plays. 20 person batting orders suck. I know it's for fun and everything, but sitting around waiting to hit is not fun. In fact, it's boring.

5.) It's softball. The ball is difficult to drive, taking away a lot of the fun and the ball is huge, making it impossible to miss. For those of you keeping track at home, this means lots of nubbers out into the middle of the infield. Softball: Feel the excitement.

Apologies and Congratulations

First, I would like to apologize for the dearth of posts the last couple of weeks. I've been quite busy and sometimes it's difficult to find things to write about that aren't specific to me, thus revealing my secret identity. If some villain pierced my cover, it would render me virtually as an ace detective (10 Schrutebucks to anyone who knows the comic book movie that last sentence references. Leave your guesses in the comments).

Second, congratulations to you. YOu have helped make this blog the most read blog that I write on about Law School (note: So far, I only write on here). I had 5 page views last week. So, if you're reading this, you're getting on the ground floor for an internet phenomenon!

I swear this isn't a traffic blog

However, I find that the easiest thing to complain about is the traffic because it doesn't legitimately affect anybody negatively here. (This is a huge difference from my movie and sports blogs engage in rather severe name calling of certain people. I'm looking at you Orlando Bloom.

Anyway, I was trying to get to Alderman road from my apartment. First, I tried to go down Old Ivy. No dice. We had a football game here today so Old Ivy is closed to traffic heading towards Ivy at the Tunnel of Death. For those of you not familiar with the Tunnel of Death, there are train tracks running above the Tunnel of Death. The road narrows underneath these tracks because, well, why not? Why should engineers be expected to design a bridge capable of allowing two cars to pass by at once.

So, it was back up Old Ivy, onto the 250 Bypass, and through the Northern campus. Surely I can cross Ivy from Copeley.

Wrong. Besides getting stuck behind, count them, one, two, three, FOUR Sheriff cars, there was a police officer waving traffic through to the right. Or, back to Old Ivy. Thanks guys. That's really cool. Eventually, I just cut my losses and headed to the law school.

The thing I really don't understand though is the die hard affection for UVA football. Listen, UVA sucks at football. I hate to break that to everyone in this state, but at no point is this team going to be relevant. The high water mark for this program in the past 6 years was a 9-5 finish in 2002. Subsequent campaigns of excellence included 8-5, 8-5, 7-5, 5-7.

That's mediocrity at it's finest. On top of that, the program is 7-9 in bowl games. Not only do they not get invited often, they get invited to crappy ones and usually lose. So, really people, there's no need to mess up traffic on this side of Charlottesville for this kind of stuff.

Library Part II

Of course, the day after I write about the Library guy, he disappears. I've not seen him in a couple of days. Of course, the interweb was out here on campus so maybe he's only in the law library to l33ch it.

Update: Ah, there he is
-2:05

First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers

Bonus points to whomever gets that reference. Leave the answer in the comments.

Anyway, the longer I'm in law school, the more esoteric law references are funny. My small section and I crack jokes about liability, contracts, mens rea, Civil Procedure (actually, that's probably the least funny out of all of them. We just complain about all of the Federal Rules).

Probably the funniest thing I heard in law school I'm not going to write on this blog because I don't want it coming back to bite me during law interviews. Yeah, this "blawg" is anonymous, but I don't take great pains to keep it so. I'm sure that the University or Law firms can figure out who's writing it.

Regardless, I'll can tell you the punchline is "Your favorite case is Lawrence v. Texas." The set up is a direct quote of a question posed by a comedy from a few years back. Sorry to be so vague, but my career is at stake (think about it and you'll get it though).

Also, Avast Ye Landlubbers

Crocs

This has nothign to do with law school, but I hate those things

Library

The thing about Law School is that you spend an inordinate amount of time in the library. For some, this is because they wish to study. For me though, some of it has to do with living off campus for the first time in my college career. Where else am I going to go?

When you go to the library on a regular basis, you start to get a particular study spot. Today, I have been thwarted because the spot I normally sit has been overrun.

So, I was forced to expand my horizons and it sucks. I am a creature of habit. Most people talk about how they want to "shake things up" and "do something new." Not me. I like what I do. That's the major reason that I do it. Now, obviously moving in the library isn't a big deal. Still though, it's representative of how much of a creature of habit I am.

Speaking of creatures of habit, there is this one old dude that is in the same spot in the library EVERY single day. I'm trying to figure out what he's doing here. He's there until at least 5 every day and usually later. He's there all day as far as I can tell. There hasn't been a day yet or a time of day during the week when I've not seen him in there. This isn't a matter of us just having the same times off. No, even on days when I have a class cancelled and I'm in the library at a much different time than normal, he's there.

Who is he? What does he do? These are all mysteries that I may never solve. One day, I want to get in here at like 8 am and just sit in that chair all day. I want to see what he does.

Crickets

The past couple of days I've been serenaded as I've walked into the law school. Down by the parking lot, in the lower part of Withers-Brown Hall, there's a potted plant. i think it's a fake potted plant, but regardless, it's there. Inside said plant, there is a cricket. Each time I've walked through the door, that thing has completely flipped out and made as much noise as possible.

Honestly, I'm quite impressed by the cricket's gusto. On top of that, I think it really adds some atmosphere to the law school. I think it'd be kinda cool to have cricket sounds in the law school in the evening. It'd create a relaxing, peaceful atmosphere in which to study. Of course, the cricket downstairs would not be a good candidate for this activity because it would drive people up a wall with its volume. Honestly, Pavarotti is quieter than this thing.

Art

When I first came to Charlotteville, the first thing that struck me was “Holy Crap, you can’t drive in here!” After a couple of days, that feeling was entrenched and will never be gotten rid of. However, once you accept that the layout of the city was designed by someone who was inspired by Jackson Pollock, you start noticing other things when you’re driving…

…Like the giant pieces of art.

My parents and I were looking around down here when I noticed a piece of metal sticking out of the median along the 250 by-pass. “Is that a whale’s tail?” I asked. Why yes it is!

I feel that such a sculpture really captures the nature of the town, if that town happened to be some whaling community in New England. Unfortunately, this is in Charlottesville, where you’d have to go to Sea World to see a whale and you definitely wouldn’t see one with a tale like that!

From the website:

At the beginning of 2006, I was smitten by a calendar photograph of a sperm whale tail. I became obsessed with the image and decided to share my obsession with the rest of Charlottesville through ArtInPlace.

I'm glad that you decided to share your obsession with us. I'm glad your outlet for obsession has chosen a safe, money-wasting outlet as opposed to other alternatives.

The Tail is created from discarded wood, much of it harvested locally. The skin is cedar waste from a millwork shop. The base is comprised of branches and roots from a single Osage-orange tree.

Because that tree was far less useful than this giant whale fin in an inland town.

I really can't get over all of these sculptures. Some are ok, but others are just nuts. I'm sure I'll write about this some later day.

Labor Day

Here at Virginia Law, we have a really cool policy. That policy is that National Holidays are meaningless. At least, that’s how Labor day is treated. Instead of getting our much deserved vacation day after a grueling two weeks of organized drinking events and group activities, we’re forced to have class today.

This is means we have our typically chaotic day of 3 classes.

Honestly, maybe I’m missing the boat, but I really don’t feel like Law School is that difficult. If you sit down and do the work, it only takes about 45 minutes per class per day to get it all done. As it is, I just stay at school into the early evening and then go back to my apartment with little or nothing to do.

Weather and Resteraunts

The other day, a restaurant owner informed me that there were 500 restaurants in Charlottesville? Really? How are they all supported? Do people just eat out constantly? This is insane.

The other thing is most of these places aren’t chains. They’re little individual restaurants scattered throughout the town. Where I’m from, there are approximately 3 restaurants that aren’t chains or at least local chains. And there is no way that there are 500 restaurants in a comparable area to Charlottesville in my home state.

This came up because we were talking about the drought conditions in Charlottesville and how restaurants were ordered not to run their dishwashers a couple of years ago. Meaning, you could go out to eat, pay $28’s for a meal, and get to eat it on a paper plate with a plastic fork. PICNIC!

Luckily, it decided to pour down rain that night, making for a lovely evening to sit outside and just listen to the rain fall (and hope to not get struck by lightning).

Driving

One of the things you notice when you come to Charlottesville is that none of the roads keep the same name. Honestly people, how hard is it to have streets maintain the same names for the entire length of their run.

You’re driving along, minding your own business, and all of a sudden, Emmet Street turns into Seminole Trail. Now, this isn’t that bad, because this is a huge, straight street. But it’s a symptom of the disease.

Anywhere you go, there’s a possibility of the street changing names on you when you cross an intersection (or at random if it feels like it). Often, this is at one of those 5-road crossing, where there are 3 roads coming together, one dead ending, and the other two leaving. How’re you ever supposed to figure this out on the fly if you’re unfamiliar?

Also, hurray for designing your roads based around paths that wildlife took. Those grid pattern streets just make it too easy to find your way around and don’t let tourists get lost in experience the culture of your town

Insurance!

Leaving home for the first time is a real pain. On top of moving all of my stuff to UVA, I've now got to pick up insurance, both medical and renter's, for the first time.

Medical is completely insane. I just have this scary idea that none of the stuff I may have need done will be covered. It's also a problem comparing prices because I live out of state and I'm not sure that the price the agent quoted me accurately represents what I should/would pay living in VA. It's also a problem trying to decide whether the UVA insurance would just be easier, given that it inherently works with all the medical facilities at UVA, of which there are great ones.

Renter's Insurance is also a pain. No, I don't know where the closest fire station is. I don't live there. I've been there once. I also did not ask them questions about the structure's construction since I'm renting it and I'm pretty sure it won't fall down in the year that I am doing so. If they used cheap materials that they'll have to replace soon, that ain't my problem.

Why does my password look like Sarge swearing?

Digital Security is no laughing matter. Since we do so much electronically without ever speaking to another person directly, our digital identity really needs to be secure. Otherwise, I can end up with "Sex and the City: The Complete Series" charged to my credit card without my knowledge. So, on top of being embarassed because someone may actually think I watch that show, I would have to pay approximately $300's so that someone else could watch it. (I could rant for so long as to why it's terrible and, just so we're not being sexist, about Entourage, which is Sex and the City II: Males Felt Left Out).

So, I understand where UVA is coming from when they come up with this very serious set of guidelines concerning my username and password (relatedly, I found the example username of mst3k hilarious). However, why the hell does my password need an ampersand to be secure? Really? That's going to put it over the top? I have to imagine that anyone smart enough to write a hacking program, would be able to write one that guessed passwords with non-sensical characters in it.

So, now I'm forced to remember a password that is completely insane, that I have to write down, which only increases its chances of being stolen. This seems counter-productive to me.

But, [Virginia Blawger], you ask, why don't you just make a new one? Ah, a fine question. The answer is that I think in little things I like to call words. That is how I remember things, let alone communicate. However, I am not allowed to make a password that is based off a word in the dictionary. Plus, there are fewer requirements for me to meet on my tax forms than there are in designing a new password. As such, I am forced, as the kids say today, "to deal."

Summer

I kinda figured my summer heading into law school would be filled with some job related to the law. Yeah, that is definitely not what my summer has been.

I don't know how much this applies to the rest of you out there, but finding a job in a law firm is really difficult when you don't have any background with the law. I pumped a couple contacts and I got nothing back from the firms, not even a phone call or e-mail.

Now, this isn't necessarily bad. I've got a plethora of easy jobs this summer, I'm reading a ton, and I'm really looking forward to Virginia. It just seems weird to be doing all these things that have NOTHING to do with law school.

First!

Hello readers. Now, I realize that there are no readers to read this at the moment as I just started the account. And, since I'm trying to maintain some sense of anonymity, I am unable to broadcast the existence of this blog, and will have to slowly disseminate knowledge of its existence to the masses over time.

This blog is not, except for me attending Virginia Law School, associated with UVA Law. It is not sanctioned by them, nor should it ever be read as an official view of the school.

Instead, this is just something I wanted to do. I wanted to chronicle my time in Law School and leave my impressions for prospective students. It is not meant to be a recruiting tool or as a forum to mercilessly rip UVA (obviously, I have to have liked the school since I'm attending so it defintely won't skew that way).

So, sit back, relax, and we'll see how long this lasts.